Tonight's ANT (automatic negative thought) is mastitis. An infection of the breast caused by a plugged duct. I won't go into details, but from what I've heard/read it's pretty nasty. And, of course, I've diagnosed myself with it. I am nursing so it's possible. And I did find a lump so it's possible. However, not very likely. But it's something that won't leave my mind. Everything, and I do mean everything is causing that horrible looping. What if I get mastitis? What will I do? What's my action plan? I just looked at the title of a book and it had "baby" in it, I have a baby, she nurses, what if I get mastitis?
After insisting that my husband feel for a lump several times this evening he finally said he didn't want it to be the main topic of our conversation. Then he went to sleep three minutes later. Right before he went to sleep we made our regular deal: if I looked up anything on the internet, about my worry, I couldn't talk to him about it. He said he wouldn't get up in the middle of the night to feel my breast. Huh, fancy that. A man refusing to feel a breast.
Kill those ANTs my friends, because if you don't you're going to be killing something else. Good luck!
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